yesings:

what if i died in like twenty years and all i left my girlfriend was a box and like she gasps and reaches down to her chest where her key necklace hangs that i gave her twenty two years ago, and she uses it to unlock the box and all that is in there is a string which you can pull to reveal an embarrassing photo of spongebob at the christmas party

(Source: miniaturepoodle)

dilfgod:

straight friend: aw I don’t understand why you’re still single

me: because approximately 8% of the us population identifies under the lgbtq community where 1.1% identifies as lesbian female, 3.5% as bisexual female, 1.7% as gay male, 1.1% as bisexual male, .3% as trans, and .3% as something else, then there’s finding someone who I’m compatible with emotionally, physically, and romantically from less than 8% of the population, and may or may not live near me

officialunitedstates:

FACT OF THE DAY:  mars is called the red planet because during the cold war it sided with the communists

legalmexican:

science side of Tumblr explain why the ride home always takes less time 

kamikazeworld:

fantasticsteve:

ohyousourwolf:

Why is it that evil villains always find poison to inject into their victims like just literally fill the syringe with air and just stick the needle between their toes or something. It’ll mimic a heart attack and the victim will die pretty quick and NO ONE WILL ASK MANY QUESTIONS BECAUSE IT’LL LOOK LIKE A HEART ATTACK

first of all how do you know this information i feel like the government doesnt want you to know that

image

One of Beyoncé’s models for her VMA Vanguard Award performance tells a story about how Beyoncé comforted her before the show began. So sweet!

(Source: thequeenbey)

ohdanners:

the area of exposed skin between a crop top and a pair of high waisted shorts is sacred and magical

(Source: heauxenn)

helicewen:

At waiting room. #moleskine #sketch #flowerhead

helicewen:

At waiting room. #moleskine #sketch #flowerhead

whackintosh:

real pain is having to wash your hair after a good hair day

unamusedsloth:

Nude Portraits series by photographer Trevor Christensen

bitchesandcandycigarettes:

polarvortex:

flooptyloops:

i… can’t breathe

She looks so good

Ellen, I’m going to need you to cool it.

(Source: lovingellenpage)