I am here and I am nowhere all at once.

Sighs heavily.

I should stop repressing myself with criticisms and inferiority complexes and start feeding my artistic side.

I desire to create, but I have never been accepting enough to make or complete any works.

"Hate is not the opposite of love, it is apathy.
To not feel any emotion towards another is much more painful than the demonstration of hate, because of the lack of care for another cuts at the deepest part of our souls of why we live. Indifference to good or bad leaves only an absent body without feeling, mind, or spirit.

The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. The opposite of beauty is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, but indifference between life and death.”

Regardless of what I claim, I’m very much capable of feeling jealousy.
Who the hell isn’t? I’m only human, I’m not immune to feeling any type of emotions.

I’m just the type to deny it.
In addition, I refuse to acknowledge any feelings of jealousy.
I choose to never act or speak if running on feelings of this sort.

Unless the cause has gotten out of hand, which in that case yes, I will confront it.

I don’t freaking knooooowww.

I’m such an asshole. Not really wanting to text you back after all that shit you’d said about me these past few days. Don’t appreciate it at all. Don’t need the indecisiveness.
But simultaneously…

I’ve done such a good job in building up this identity I forever desired that even now at my lows I’m still able to hold myself high.
And maybe that’s what prevented me from having a proper break down.
Because even amongst this shit I still have this optimism and strength and refusal to back down pushing through.
Very slightly and small, but still present nonetheless.

I have no idea what to do, so I’ll just stick to waiting it out some more

Obviously you’ve become someone important to me if I’m this fucking affected. Are you fucking kidding me.

Fuck

FUCKING FUCK I FUCKING SHIT FUCK I DONT FUCKING NEED ALL THIS HEAVY SHIT TONIGHT JUST FUCK

Whatever.

Not feeling it so much atm.
But nor am I really trying.

Just not really feeling it right now

Goddddd so boring.
Just not going much anywhere

So incredibly fucking annoyed.